Naseeb (1981)

Out of sheer nostalgia and curiosity, I watched Naseeb last afternoon. My only memory of this film is watching it on TV when I was recovering from some forgotten affliction (likely a minor cold) one afternoon and was bored alone at home. The heroes were leaping off a burning rooftop, gliding across a rope with makeshift pulleys impossibly fashioned from rings. That is the only thing I remembered about this movie, and seeing as I had the time on hand, why not take a walk down memory lane?

Unfortunately, nostalgia is the only thing this film has going for it. 

To say Naseeb (and most films from this era, to be frank) have aged poorly is an understatement. The misogyny seeping through this 'family drama' is quite tiresome. There is a bizarre segment where Hema Malini's singer refuses to model a bikini in London, because 'women in our culture are revered for being beautiful while fully clothed, not naked.' In response to the director who refuses to accept her hesitation, Shatrughan Sinha strips him before forcing him into the bikini instead. Rishi Kapoor never fails to remind us that 'women should not smoke, how many times must I remind you?' There is a pointless subplot going on somewhere about the head master and mistress of a Christian school being involved with each other in a forbidden romance. To look for coherence and logic in a masala film like Naseeb is akin to complaining about a hot day in summer.

Its one saving grace is its overt affection for (stereotyped) secularism, whether that is through ridiculous character names that draw from multiple faiths, or the not-so-subtle action sequence where the heroes' decorative rings of Islam, Hinduism, and Christianity leave a lasting mark on the villain's bashed up face. In an ironic twist, modern Indian cinema has introduced increasingly provocative item numbers, thereby normalising revealing clothing in most mainstream movies, while secularism has taken a backseat to aggressive nationalist posturing.

Who says brainrot is a 2024-exclusive phenomenon? Indian brainrot existed in the form of Naseeb all the way back in 1981, and it is truly terrifying to imagine how many of our parents went to catch this in the cinema and walked out applauding the movie.